We are nothing if not human
by The Silica Pen
Summary: No vampires, no werewolves and no shapeshifters. Just Jacob and Leah. AU told in first person by various characters
1. Chapter 1

Part one: Like I need this: Leah

"God why do I have to do this?" I questioned the teacher leading me to the room were I would meet my 'older brother' why do they call it that? It's so stupid. "Why do I need some know-it-all that thinks I'm just some extra credit for psych or whatever telling me 'it's gonna be OK bud' and how do I get out of it?"

The teacher was being amazing at keeping calm, it worried me. "Because you lost your father and have known anger issues, this combined with you joining us in the middle of the year means we want to make sure we give you to best chance to stay with us and there is no way out of it." Lord, how did she manage that in one breath?

The annoyingly happy woman waved me at a door and then left. "Well I guess that's goodbye then." I muttered opening the door and stepping into the nearly empty classroom. The only occupant was a short boy, probably no taller than me, with long black hair, sitting at the head desk. I sighed, "So you're my bro. then? What a loser."

He got up and growled, "Look here miss, Clearwater is it?" He didn't wait for an answer, "I don't want to be here any more than you but we need to be in here for three hours. You leave me alone, I leave you alone and then we go our separate ways, they never follow up the siblings after the initial session." He raised an eyebrow in question, idiot.

"Fine but what am I supposed to do?" He sat down and didn't answer, jerk. I blew my hair out of my eyes and collapsed in the nearest seat. Time was gonna drag something awful, at least he had the magazine he was reading when I came in, it was almost certainly something dirty.

Taking out a pad of paper and blowing my fringe out of my eyes again I began to doodle. Man is this lame. "Yes." I looked up at the boy, had I said that out loud? But no he was talking to his what, I now realised was a car mag. Who sits and reads a car mag? Better yet who talks to them?

I managed to whittle away three-quarters of an hour before running out of room on my tenth piece of paper. I took a breath to blow my hair for what now had to be the ninth time but before I could I felt his fingers on my forehead, brushing my hair behind my ear. "Hey don't touch me jackass." I said when I remembered how to let go of the breath.

"Hey hey retract the claws. I just came over to talk cause we're both bored." He did the eyebrow thing again and again he looked an idiot, "Come on, names first. I'm Jacob Black, you?" He still seemed to have an invisible fishhook in that eyebrow.

"Leah Clearwater." I huffed.

"OK then, what you in for?" He was now perched on the desk in front of me.

"Like you care." This time I spat it at him.

"Look I can find out in your file over there, I just thought you might want to tell me in person." Why won't he drop that eyebrow?

"You're just too lazy to read." I was ignoring the fact that he had read a whole magazine in the last hour, bet it was mostly pictures. "So go on scurry away and check your notes." I swung my legs round away from him so I was sidesaddle in the seat.

Grumbling he got up and turned for the front, as soon as he wasn't looking I reached up and untucked my hair, meddler. "Right what do we have here then? You're a year younger than me and have a younger brother also joining the school. Here we go, you have pent up aggression the causes anger management issues, well I could have told you that. Oh god." The last two words were whispered, "You lost your dad."

"Yeah so?" He glanced up and I quickly looked away.

"Well it's just that I lost my mum recently and I guess what I mean is I know what you're going through." A small smile played around his face but It wasn't a 'poor you' smile. It was one of understanding. "Want to tell me how it happened?"

I opened my mouth several times but nothing came out. Swallowing I tried again, "Heart attack." I don't know why but I wanted to tell him the story, "We were in Italy for a holiday, some walled city called Volterra or something. Anyway My dad and me were shopping and I went to the next store but was pulled into an alley by a couple of burly guys." He was clenching his jaw, that was a new reaction.

"Lucky for me they only managed to beat me around a bit before some police showed up and sent them scurrying. I still don't know how they found me but they did. The stress of it all didn't really hit me but it sure hit my dad, so now he's dead because of me." My hands had balled into fists unconsciously and my nails were digging into my skin.

Jake's teeth were gritted as he spoke, "You mean they tried to . . ."

Before he could say the word I spoke up, "Yes they almost did." To my relief my tone shut him up on that subject but I could see he was internally annoyed. Dumb meddler, I knew he would be the kind of guy that would obsess over this kind of thing. "Look Jake, I got over it pretty quickly so don't drive yourself crazy over the whole thing, OK?" I blew my hair away again, that made ten times.

"Ah you do care." He said running his hand through his hair and the atmosphere was instantly relaxed. Damn it! How did he make me let my guard down?

After that the time seemed to fly and too soon the final bell went. "Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow." A smile flashed across my face, leaving quickly as if it was scared of unfamiliar territory.

Jake shook his head, his hair whipping around made me smile for another few seconds. "I go to school up on the res, they pulled me down here for this. Where are you staying?" We were stood outside under a shelter, neither of us looking forwards to stepping out into the rain.

"We got a house in town, it's near an old friend of my dad, Charlie Swan. We're going there for dinner tonight, with his daughter Bella . . ." His hand reached out to cover my mouth.

"Leah I know, Charlie's a friend of my dad, Billy." He let me go and continued, "Maybe I'll see you around. Charlie should have my number so call me, K?"

I nodded as he rushed out into the rain heading right out the gate. "Well I don't envy him, right Leah?" Bella's voice right by my ear made me jump, "At least we have the truck."

I rolled my eyes. "Bella how do you stay happy around here? Does the rain not faze you at all?" She giggled and grabbed my wrist dragging my out into the rain and towards her hand-me-down orange truck. "No Bella I wasn't ready!" She just laughed out loud, there should be a law against being so happy.

Soon, not soon enough for me since she fell over twice, we were in the truck, heat blasting out at us. "So you like little Jakey then?"

My head snapped up, "That's little Jakey?" She had told me about her childhood friend but I had not made the connection. "He was quite short I guess so it makes some sense."

"Yeah and I'd say he likes you to. When are your mum and Seth coming over?"

I so wish she would keep on track. Still reeling from the first comment it took me a moment to answer, "They said they would be there before we got home." He liked me huh. Well, glad I had another friend other than Bella but the way she had said it made it sound like there was more to it. But before I could think it over properly we were pulling in to the drive way at Charlie's home.

* * *

OK this is a twilight AU. Everyone in this universe is totaly human. All the vampires died when they should of and the shapeshifters never have a groth spurt.

Other changes are that Bella grew up in Forks and the Clearwaters have only just moved there.

The narrator will change by chapter but Leah is the main character.

pairings are LeahxJacob and SethxBella


	2. Chapter 2

Part two: One eventful meal: Bella

As soon as I entered the house I smelt something cooking. Not good! I rushed to the kitchen yelling as I went, "No Charlie! Step away from the poor stove!" Sliding on the linoleum I crashed into a chair and slammed into the floor. I looked up at the hand offered to me, it was attached to the very uncharlie Sue Clearwater. I tried to ignore the gales of laughter coming from Charlie and Seth in the small living room as I accepted the hand up.

"Don't worry Bella, I can cook, so no more telling me off OK?" I nodded sheepishly, what a silly phrase, how do you nod like a sheep and what exactly is sheep like about it?

A pair of fingers snapping in my face brought me back to the here and now. "I said where is Leah?"

I cocked my head, shrugged then turned to look for her, crashing into the door frame on my way, reviving the laughter in the other room. Rubbing my forehead I tried again and managed to make it outside without further incident.

"There she is" I muttered, spotting her still in the truck. I pulled the hood of the coat I was still wearing up and stepped out to stand by the window. I rapped on it with my knuckles, well what else would I rap it with, my feet? Focus Bella! "Hey you not hungry or something?"

Leah gestured for me to back up and I did, letting her out. "Sorry about that I was thinking about some things." She made for the door and I followed almost slipping in the mud.

As we entered the kitchen Charlie got up, "Wow Leah you've grown, last time I saw you you were this big." He indicated about knee high and Sue grabbed his wrist raising it to waist height. "Yeah well she was still smaller than she is now." He grumbled.

I laughed, it was way past my turn, and got a glower from Charlie. "Sorry dad but you did bring it on yourself."

"She got you there pops." Seth had easily transitioned from mocking me to Charlie.

Then I lifted a lid from one of the pots on the stove but dropped it with a yelp when a wooden spoon struck my hand. "Why do that?"

Sue seemed to be enjoying my pain a bit too much when she answered, "Dinners a surprise so hands off."

"Don't worry she did that to me too Bella." Seth called from his spot on the couch

"Fine in that case I'm gonna go email mum."

Leah looked up from the chair at the kitchen table she had been sat at all this time, "Hey mind if I come?"

"Er sure I guess." Judging from the others faces I wasn't the only one surprised by her sudden outburst. The pair of us climbed the stairs and then crossed the landing to my small room.

Inside I sat at the desk and switched on the dusty old PC and drummed my fingers waiting for it to load, surely that should be drummed the desk? While Leah sat cross legged on my unmade bed.

It wasn't until my email was checking for new messages that Leah spoke again. "What did you mean by Jacob likes me?"

I spun the chair round to face her, caught off guard by the odd question. "Just that he likes you. You know like a friend." Had I meant anything more? I couldn't remember.

"No there was more. I know there was, but I can't figure it." She blew her hair out of her eyes and looked at me as if to say 'tell me all your secrets' but I wasn't about to do that.

"You got mail." She said pointing.

"Oh hey thanks." My smile was back on my face as I scanned the page and then shot off a reply to my mum, Renee, keeping her updated on all the latest happenings.

When I looked back Leah was staring out the window at the clouds. I opened my mouth but Seth beet me to it and yelled up the stairs. "Yo girls get your buts down here so we can find out what diner is!"

"We better do what he says." I shrugged and got up, "You coming?"

Soon we were all crowded around the small table a plate in front of us piled with steaming vegetables and some form of meat. None of his wanted to be the first to try it just in case. "OK I give up, what is it Sue?"

"Nope, not till you've eaten it all." She was already half way through, but then she knew what it was.

Charlie and Seth looked at each other and sighed, both brought a piece to their mouths and tentatively bit into it, where does that word come from? Like a tent? No probably not. At the exact same time their eyes lit up and they began to wolf it down.

I looked over at Leah and was surprised to see that she was patiently staring into space, her plate empty except a piece of broccoli she was absentmindedly pushing around with her fork.

Well nothing ventured nothing gained I suppose. One bite and it was over, luckily no one was hit by the vomit. "I'm sorry" I apologized for what felt like the hundredth time while Sue finished cleaning the floor, "I ruined your lovely meal and . . ." Leah had stuck the broccoli she had been toying with in my mouth and stopped my stream of apologies.

"It's alright Bella, rabbit isn't for everyone." At that moment the phone went and Sue left to answer it. Her voice floated out of the hallway, "Yes she is and who is this? . . . OK just a mo. Leah phone for you, he says his name's Jacob"

I was probably the only one looking at Leah when Jakey's name was said and so the only one to catch the smile that came and was gone again quicker then lightning. "Coming mum" She grabbed the phone and made her way upstairs to take the call.

Sue passed me and plonked herself on the sofa next to Charlie. I finished off the parts of my dinner I could eat and then joined them, with Seth in the chair my only choice was the floor so I sat and leaned my head on his knees.

An hour later we were all still there but Sue now had her head in Charlie's lap softly snoring and I would soon be following her. Charlie looked away from the flat screen for a moment, "Hey Bells you mind top and tailing with Leah tonight?" I slowly shook my head, "Then Seth could you help her up stairs and get Leah off the phone? Then we'll find somewhere for you."

I felt myself being lifted to my feet and next thing I knew I was in my doorway and Seth was saying something about Leah being asleep already. Then he was lowering me in to bed and I found my arm didn't want to let go, didn't want him to leave but unconsciousness grabbed me and my grip slackened as I fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

and here we have a present for all you fans out there, two updates this weekend ^.^ part two from Bella's perspective.

Ok guys thanks for the reviews makes me feel good ^.^

most people seam hung up on the Bella/Seth thing and quite a few mentioned the age gap. Leah and Jacob have the exact same age gap but ya don't complain about that do you?

Another thing you picked up on was the Bella Leah friendship. Bella sees thier relationship as close friends if not as close as sisters. Leah sees it as more of an ally of convieniance thing, Bella is the only one she knows at school other than her brother so she hangs out with her.

Bella being happy, people metioned that as well but I have big plans for so you have to wait and see.

Abiut the whole rabbit throwing up thing I wrote the scene and then found out that one of my friends had done the exact same thing so it is plausible.


	3. Chapter 3

Part three: OK now I'm confused: Seth

When daylight shone through the window and straight into my eyes, I decided it was time to get up. Scratching my head I moved into the kitchen and began searching the fridge for food. As I was picking up the milk last night came back to me, causing the carton to drop from my fingers. "Well at least it wasn't a bottle." I sighed bending to pick it back up.

What the hell was Bella doing? I was helping her to her room when her legs refused to move any further so I had to carry her to bed. When I placed her gently down her arms tightened round my neck, pulling me to her. I could tell she wasn't really awake but even so she was mumbling and with my ear pulled next to her mouth I could hear her clear as day.

'No don't leave me Seth. I'd much rather share with you.' She had said. I could feel my face get hot at the memory. Then she had fallen asleep properly and her grip loosened enough for me to get out. I quickly checked on Leah and then left shutting the door again.

When I got down stairs there was a blanket on the couch waiting for me, my mum and Charlie had already disappeared, probably up to his room.

Bella walked in rubbing her eyes, "Mourning Seth." She had got changed and was now wearing some loose pajamas.

"Yeah, Mourning Bells." I averted my eyes as she stretched and grabbed an apple before heading back upstairs. Damn it why did she have to forget when I now have to live in confusion?

I looked down and realised I was still holding the milk. "Hey Seth, you gonna do anything with that?" I held it out to my sister without looking up, hiding my face. "Moron."

She was soon gone and the milk was sat on the table, I quickly poured a bowl of cereal and picked up the carton and turned it upside down. Leah! Damn now I had to go out and get some more if I wanted cereal.

Bella reappeared then in jeans and a t-shirt, "Oh we out of milk? Want to pop to the shops with me and get some?" She asked swiping the shopping list off the fridge door.

"Er well I, suppose I could, if you, ya know, don't mind." The hell was I stuttering for?

Bella clapped me on the shoulder and smiled, "Course I don't mind Seth." I turned, feigning a yawn, to hide the blush that crept up my neck, why did she have to be so beautiful? And how had I not seen it till now? "Hey go wait in the truck, I'll be there soon, I'll just write a note for Charlie." She moved away looking for the pad of paper that should have been by the phone.

The cold wind hitting my face was refreshing and I could think clearly again. Why was I doing this? Why did my body react to that comment like this? Why, why, why? "Huh silly me forgot you would need the keys." I turned just in time to see Bella slip and catch her by the arm. As soon as she was up right I let go and stepped back, "Thanks Seth, stupid ice!"

"You gonna be able to drive in this?"

"What? You criticizing my driving skill?"

I waved my hands in front of me, "No, no nothing like that, no it's just that . . ."

"Breathe Seth, I'm just joshing you." She smiled and unlocked the door, "Now get in so we can go." I did as she said and buckled my seat belt. She turned the key and the engine roared into life, good thing the truck was so loud, then she wouldn't hear my accelerated heartbeat from the close proximity.

Before long we were pulling up at one of Forks few stores. I had spent the whole journey looking out the window looking at Bella's reflection in the glass. This crush was so aggravating; wish I could think about something else, I sighed.

"What's up Seth?" I hadn't noticed that the engine noise had stopped and that she would hear me.

Flustered I replied, "Oh nothing just feel a bit ill, maybe it's a delayed reaction to the rabbit." I was doing it again damn it!

"Ugh don't remind me." Oh she remembers a little vomit but not destroying my life and confusing the heck out of me? Perfect. "Hey if you're feeling bad then I can handle the shopping." Bella flashed that smile that I was quickly growing to need. "You can wait in here or do you want to come inside?" How could I resist that face?

Not trusting myself to open my mouth I got out and stepped towards the store in answer. She giggled and stumbled out the driver's side. Well time to go shopping then, if only I could tear myself away from her, it was like we were magnets her the north end me the south.

That sounded right, her above me, better, out of my league. How did I fall for someone so much better than me, sure I was more coordinated but she was better looking and friendlier and she was smiling at me again. It was infectious so I ended up smiling too.

At the till we were served by a boy who seemed to know Bella and were delayed from leaving for a while as they chatted. Suddenly Bella turned to me and said, "This is Seth." Then she went on to introduce me to the other kid but I didn't pay any attention to his name. A peal of laughter snapped me out of my stupor and I started to listen and immediately regretted it. "Us together? No way!" She laughed again.

I felt like someone had tipped a bucket of ice water over me.

So she saw the difference between us as well. The next thing I knew I was sat on the sofa at Charlie's house. Had Bella brought me all the way home?

A coat hit me in the face. "Let's go Seth, time to leave." Leah was being her normal sensitive self. I got up, the room swirled and I fell forwards.

Someone was carrying me. Guess it was Charlie, he was the only one strong enough and voices swirled around me.

"He was complaining about feeling ill earlier." That had to be Bella.

"Well let's just get him to bed; a doctor can look at him tomorrow." Male, that was Charlie.

I felt some one place a hand on my head and grab my wrist. "No fever and heartbeat normal. That says exhaustion or shock to me and from his disorientation earlier I'd guess the latter." Trust Leah to keep a level head at a time when everyone else was panicking.

I tried to open my eyes to see where we were but they felt like they were glued shut and my body felt like it was made of lead. Why couldn't I hear mum? She should be the worst of the lot but she was either silent or not there, whichever it was it was strange.

Soon I was laid on my bed and I felt someone undressing me and tucking me in. I struggled one word past my jaw that seemed wired shut.

"Bella."

"Sure buddy, I'll get her." I guess it was Charlie that undressed me, good.

"Hey I'm here Seth." I felt her grip my hand in both of hers, "I just gonna go home and get some sleep as it's late and then in the mourning I'll be back."

"No stay." It was my turn.

After a long silence she replied the smile evident in her voice. "Sure Seth, long as you need me. That's what friends do." That last bombshell knocked me out fully.

Friends, damn!

* * *

And here is the second chapter for this week. Next week will be one update dependant on how far ahead I am.

OK that takes care of all the POV characters. I wont be doing chapters from Jacob's perspective as he is more of a recuring character even more so in later chapters.

I tried to seperate the characters narative voices so that you can tell who it is more easily, Leah is ovensive towards everything, Bella is scatter brained and Seth is a drama queen.

I have no knowlege of medecine and so sickness and, well everything realy, runs on the rule of drama. So no complaints on "this isnt possible!" cause my reply will be "STFU who gives a damn!"


	4. Chapter 4

Part four: Plans and ankles broken: Leah

Ugh, stupid school.

I was sat in English waiting for the bell so I could meet Jake. He was going to take me up to La Push, the Quileute reservation where he lived.

Yesterday he was helping his dad out around the house and Bella had been hanging with Seth so I had nothing to do. Seth was acting weirder than usual, when he was with Bella every time he thought no one was watching his face twisted and he looked like he was in pain.

First time he did it I thought it was my imagination, a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. It took me a while but I soon managed to spot him, well it was the drama queen's own problem not mine anyway.

Annoyingly I wasn't in any of Bella's classes and was sat next to a different person in each one. This time it was a girl called Jessica and. She. Just. Would. Not. Shut. Up. I had no idea what she was saying but if that bell didn't go soon she was probably gonna end up through the blackboard.

The teacher was blathering on about the Shakespeare play we were going to study this year. I glanced at the board to see what it was. 'Romeo and Juliet' was written in the man's curly handwriting, why is that always the play studied? you'd think he never wrote any more.

Soon after that, the bell went and I had to restrain myself from jumping up and dancing on the table. As it was I got out of the room first even though I was sat at the back. I tucked my pad of paper under my arm, it was supposed to be full of notes but instead it fetured a large sketch of a t-rex eating that Jessica girl.

I made it out side in time to wave to Bella and Seth as they roared past in the truck. No ride for me today, Jacob was fixing up an old rabbit but he still needed some expensive parts before that was ready so we were walking. I hadn't missed the twin smiles on Bella and Charlie's faces when I'd told them that.

I glanced at my watch and sighed, he wasn't late I was early. I made to blow my fringe when someone caught it from behind and put it behind my ear. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting here to do that." Jacob barked his deep laugh and moved round in front of me.

"You mean I had to wait here in the cold just so you could pull a stupid stunt like that?" I growled.

He just barked again, "Naw I just got here, that was perfect timing though right?" Oh lord, he's doing that thing with his eyebrow again.

I flashed him a smile, a flash was all I could manage. I was new to the whole happiness thing but Jake made it so easy.

"Fine then. We better get going or Bella's gonna be there to pick me up before I'm there to be picked up." We walked in silence for a minute or two, but it wasn't at all uncomfortable.

"So what do you know about the Quileute legends Leah?"

"Nothing actually." He let out another one of his barking laughs.

"No, why would you?" If he keeps this up I'm gonna have to shave that eyebrow off, although he was probably thinking the same about my fringe, I blew at it to make a point. "Well would you like to know more?"

"Uh, yeah sure." We were leaving the town of Forks now and were walking along a track through the forest. Jake was looking at me with an intensity I didn't recognize and it worried me, was he looking at something he didn't like? Had I annoyed him? I couldn't let that happen. "I'd love to Jake." I even managed to flicker my amateur smile.

That seemed to help and he looked forwards, reciting the tale from memory, "Long ago when the world was young a god wandered the globe searching for something, no one knows what it was. At some point during his journeys the god was sealed in a cage of magic, for the god was a shape shifter and the cage stopped him changing himself.

"Finally a pack of wolves approached the bars, worried for the god. The god then reached out and stroked the alpha, who shuddered and changed into the form of man, the first Quileute.

"Now the other wolves queued up to be transformed and soon they could let the god out of the cage. The god was so grateful that he gave them a patch of land and told them to protect it, now we call it La Push." He barked out his laugh and glanced over at me with a toothy grin, "Silly huh? They also say my ancestors survived the flood, ya know the whole Noah and the ark thing, by tying canoes to treetops." He laughed again.

I scrambled to think of something to say, "Yeah stupid. Er, are we nearly there?"

"No way we aren't even half way. We still have miles to go." Those smiles suddenly clicked, mental note: Never trust Bella and Charlie when they both have grins that threaten to cut their heads in half. "Leah look-"

Before Jake could finish warning me my foot shot down a rabbit hole and twisted. I hit the ground and heard something crack, IDIOT! Now what?

Jake was looking at my ankle, he gently teased it out into the open and I groaned in pain. I could feel the tears on my face and I asked, "What are you gonna do?"

He moved round in front of me and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "We." He stressed the word, "Are going to go to your house, it's closer than mine, and get you to the hospital. I'm gonna pick you up now, ready?"

I nodded and he gently pulled my up onto his shoulders before beginning the long trudge home.

No one answered the door when we rung the bell, I was leaning heavily on the door frame and Jake was trying to shield himself from the rain that had started as soon as we entered Forks. "Let's try your house, Bella might be hanging around there." He held out his hand to help me limp down the small steps. "Thanks, I think I can limp the three houses to my house."

"OK but if you need any help let me know." I can't believe it but he seems to be in more pain than me.

Minutes later I was sat on the chair in the kitchen and being fussed over. Jake was on the phone to the hospital wanting to know what to do, it sounded like I had to be still for now.

Seth was hovering behind him waiting to use the phone so he could ask Charlie where mum was.

Bella was holding ice to my ankle and talking quietly. "Looks like a break, my mum did something similar once." She scratched at the bandage on her right forearm and pressed her arm on it to slow the bleeding. She looked like she should be sat down she was so pale.

The swelling was going down so Bella balanced the dishtowel she had wrapped the ice in and then moved to sit near me, "So how did the date go?"

I flushed in embarrassment, "It wasn't a date." I whispered, Jake may have thought it was and I didn't want to disappoint him. Wait when did I start to care about people's feelings? And was it everyone or just Jake? No I think it's the three people that dropped everything because of me.

I smiled for a moment.

* * *

just the single update this week guys but next week will be a double as chapter 5 and 6 are so closely linked that you realy need to read them together.

not much to say here except that i finished college for now so i might start updateing twice a week. oh and i now have a beta starting with this chapter so their should be less mistakes ^.^

keep the reviews coming.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5: I give up: Seth

I hate starting a new school; I only knew Bella, Leah and Jacob. No I was all alone in a new school trying to make some friends and it didn't help that I couldn't stop thinking about Bella's lovely eye's and her smile and...

I mentally slapped myself and looked around. Bella's truck only held two people so she gave a ride to my sister this morning but Leah was headed to see where Jacob lived so I could catch a lift home.

When I got back from a ride with Bella I was hopefully going to hang out with her until she had to pick my sister up from Jacob's.

I looked around for Leah or Bella; they were in the same year so they would finish about the same time surely. They were nowhere in sight and I didn't recognise any one as being in the same year.

I thought back to the ill fated shopping trip, what was that guy's name? Mick? Mark? As I tried to picture his face the words echoed back to me and I stumbled backwards and felt a hand grab my arm and steady me.

A soft voice spoke up. "Hey now. You going to faint every time I'm around?" I blushed profusely at how accurate she was and turned to face Bella. "You want a lift? I got room for you." She laughed and tapped the side of her truck with her hand.

I gulped, "S-sure and how about you come over to my house after wards?"

Bella smiled and clapped me on the shoulder, "Sounds good." She smiled and moved over to the truck door. I jumped forwards and opened it for her, "Thanks Seth, I knew I kept you around for a reason."

I shut the door and moved around to the passenger side thinking about the way my shoulder tinkled where she had touched me.

After a very tense journey well tense for me anyway I stepped into my living room and dropped my bag on the sofa before booting up the PC. Bella had dropped me of and was going to her house to park the truck and leave her stuff. I tapped a few keys and logged on before bringing up the web browser.

At that moment I heard a knock at the door and jumped to my feet. I ran to the door and threw it open. "Hey Bel-gah!" I stopped chattering as I saw What she was wearing.

Gone were the jeans and t-shirt she wore to school. Instead she was in a dress and it was beautiful, it made her look even better than normal. "Bugah so so so very bugah."

"What are you babbling at Seth?" she stepped inside and shut the door looking at me with a confused expression on her face.

I shook my head and rammed the heels of my hand into my eyes for a few moments, "Sorry sorry sorry. I, I just never saw you in a dress before and, and, and well you're..." I looked down and away from her.

"I'm what Seth?" she reached out for my but I stepped back. The gulf between us had to be made clear I had to draw the line on the relationship now.

I looked up and smiled, "Never mind about that, not like I was going to say beautiful or anything silly like that." I could see her shocked face but carried on regardless. "I'm going to head to the toilet but then I'll get us some drinks and we can watch some TV, 'K?" She nodded slowly and turned around.

As I headed for the stairs I could have sworn I saw her shoulders sag in relief. Good, she didn't want a relationship, not with me any way.

I bounded up the stairs with happiness I didn't feel and kept the smile on my face till the bathroom door was shut.

Sliding down the wall I let the tears that had blurred my vision on the way up spill out. In moments I was weeping silently, unable to stop. Not that I wanted to. If I could cry all my tears I would be ok to be around her.

From this moment on I give up. The relationship could not have gone anywhere, she would be unhappy and I wasn't selfish enough to force myself on her, nor would I run away and leave her. If I did and she needed help then I would feel like a monster, some undead unfeeling monster.

I got up and looked in the mirror, my eyes were red and puffy but I hoped she wouldn't notice. I splashed some water on my face and turned to the door.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs I heard a sniff and then Bella's voice, "Hey Seth, you took your time."

As I was about to round the wall and bring her into sight I heard a crash and the sound of shattering glass. I ran round to see Bella lying in the remains of our glass coffee table. Without hesitating I leapt forwards and heaved her upright, "Are you hurt at all? Any cuts?" She pointed at her right forearm and I saw the trickle of blood.

I pulled her towards the kitchen and directed her to the sink. "Wash the wound and check for any shards of glass and I'll get you a bandage."

When I returned she was still silent as before. It was extremely odd to see her almost depressed, she held out her arm but didn't look up. I carefully wrapped the long bandage round her forearm before speaking. "You alright? We should probably get you to a doctor just in case you did any real harm."

"I'm sorry Seth." Her voice wavered and she clutched her arm to her chest.

"What for?" She was acting so different, she was still herself but, but I don't know. She wasn't making any sense.

"No, never mind." Bella looked up and smiled again, "Thank you"

I noticed something that had drifted in the back of my consciousness for a while. When Bella smiled she always closed her eyes.

Maybe the smile was forced, hiding something, an inner sorrow. Damn it why did she have to get hurt for me to see this.

"Don't worry Bella; I will always be there to catch you. Well you know not so much catch you as mop up afterwards. I mean I want to catch you but I may not be there and ..."

I was cut off as her lips met mine. The short moment seemed to last forever but was over in the blink of an eye. She pulled away slightly and rested her forehead on mine. "I'm sorry Seth I really wish I could return those feelings but I can't. If you hate me for leading you on I would understand but I thought it was right, I'm so sorry."

The doorbell rung and we moved swiftly apart, Bella press her hand against her arm to stem the bleeding and moved to the kitchen door but I reached out and grabbed her shoulder to stop her.

It was Leah she was limping and Jacob moving to the phone to call the hospital. "Bella cut her arm let them know about that to."

* * *

no rant as this is a double update


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6: Broken Wings Can't Fly: Bella

As I was walking up to my truck I saw Seth stumble back and caught him by the arm. "Hey now. You going to faint every time I'm around?" I whispered into his ear. Damn Seth making it so easy. "You want a lift? I got room for you." Corse he wants a lift, he asked this morning.

"S-sure and how about you come over to my house after wards?" he stammered making me giggle.

I wish my feelings weren't so real and then I wouldn't have to do what I'm going to do. "Sounds good." I smiled, I was good at faking one by now, and moved over to the truck door. Seth jumped forwards and pulled it open, "Thanks Seth, I knew I kept you around for a reason."

It was how much he cared that made my regress. Back to how I was a year ago. That was why I had to distance the two of us and soon.

Neither of us talked all the way back home except when we reached his house, "Ok I've got a few things to do then I'll walk round. See you soon." I faked another smile before driving the short distance home.

As I entered I switched on the radio to catch the news but switched it off a few seconds later. Everyone was on about the rumour about robot slaves for hire in LA. Sometimes they said zombies and some said they were in other cities like London but the basic story was the same. All a bunch of hokie pokie. I giggled; hokie pokie is a funny phrase.

I dropped my bag on my bed and turned to my wardrobe. Hung on the door was a blue dress; I was going to show Seth that he couldn't be my friend without wanting to act on his feelings. If he did I might just get hurt again, I was already a bird with broken wings, what more is there to lose but my life.

I got changed quickly and then went into the bathroom to brush my hair. I smiled at the pictures of baby animals I had taped around the edge of the mirror. They were one of the many ways I had brought happiness into the house in the past year.

As I walked down the street and whistled a cheerful tune and found myself skipping. My good mood wouldn't last though, I had kept it up for a year but Seth could snap me out of it just by being around.

He was like Wesley in most ways but he didn't seem to mind when I was my true self.

When I reached Seth's house I knock once and then waited. Seth opened the door and tried to speak but cut himself off. I saw his eyes travel over my body and strangely it didn't feel uncomfortable, it felt right. But that was why I had to do this. "Bugah so so so very bugah."

"What are you babbling at Seth?" I knew he was reacting to the way I was dressed but I didn't want him to know that.

"Sorry sorry sorry. I, I just never saw you in a dress before and, and, and well you're..." He broke eye contact and I was glad, well as glad as I could be. Oddly, even though it was what I wanted I still felt a pang of regret at his face.

"I'm what Seth?" I put my hand out but he shrugged it off

"Never mind about that, not like I was going to say beautiful or anything silly like that." What? I couldn't believe how much it hurt when he denied that. I tried to tell myself it was because my plan hadn't worked but even so... "I'm going to head to the toilet but then I'll get us some drinks and we can watch some TV, 'K?"

I turned around and blinked fiercely to keep back the tears, my shoulders slumping.

Shuffling into the living room I looked for something to cheer me up. The furniture was all leather except the glass coffee table and the TV was smaller than dad's flat screen. The computer was on and displayed the homepage of MegaTokyo, yeah that would cheer me up no end.

It was no good; I broke down and sobbed into one of the sofa cushions. Why the hell did I care? I wanted him to distance himself from me but when he did ... Now I loved him but I couldn't. Especially when he and Wesley were so identical.

Damn you Wesley. You broke my wings just in time for Seth to ask me to fly.

I cried and cried until there were no more tears and I was just sobbing into the sofa.

I heard a creak on the stairs and got up rubbing my eyes. "Hey Seth, you took your time." As I got up my feet twisted together and I toppled forwards. I reached out to brake my fall. I felt a sharp pain up my arm and heard the crunch as I hit the ground.

"Wash the wound and check for any shards of glass and I'll get you a bandage." Seth had rushed to my side and got me to my feet immediately. He had helped me without hesitating.

I was always clumsy but I didn't really hurt myself much. I needed the hospital quickly but Seth would need to call an ambulance as I couldn't drive like this and he was too young.

I shook my head. I was avoiding the issue, Seth didn't care about me, he didn't want to look after me, he didn't want me to be happy, he didn't even see me as a friend. He loved me.

I saw it in his eyes, I was everything to him. I heard him behind me and held out my arm and felt the bandage being wrapped round my arm. "You alright? We should probably get you to a doctor just in case you did any real harm."

He let my arm go and I hugged it to my chest. "I'm sorry Seth." Distancing us wasn't going to work and now it was too late.

"What for?"

"No, never mind." I smiled at him doing my usual trick of closing my eyes. A smile is only real if you can see it in the eyes, hidden eyes and you can't tell if it's real. "Thank you"

"Don't worry Bella; I will always be there to catch you. Well you know not so much catch you as mop up afterwards. I mean I want to catch you but I may not be there and ..."

I leaned forwards and kissed him gently but then spoke up. "I'm sorry Seth I really wish I could return those feelings but I can't. If you hate me for leading you on I would understand but I thought it was right, I'm so sorry."

I blinked back the last few tears.

* * *

OK I ment to have the first of thease chapters up yesterday but my sister had a party that got out of hand. there were four people that were sober and forty 15 year olds who were tottaly smashed out of there heads. I do have to save thank god for my friend Steven, he helped out loads.

onto the chapters. Here we have some hinting at Bella's backstory and also some hints towards a oneshot I'm gonna write sometime soon.

I forgot to mention it but in chapter 4 there were some arc words (words repeated often that don't get explained till the end of the story) for the whole silicaverse (the universe some of my storys are set in, for more info look at my profile)

oh and for thouse of you wondering MegaTokyo is a webcomic I read and in later story lines is mega depresing.


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7: A Lucky Find: Leah

You know what sucks? Romance. All the guys flocked around Bella who I had never seen look at a guy in that way. I, on the other hand, couldn't get a guy to take a second look at me even if I went into school in my underwear. Don't get me wrong Jacob is a great friend but I do wish we were more than that.

I sighed and watched the trees pass by the window of Bella's truck. It was a month after me and Seth had moved in to Forks and it was the end of the school year and Bella had dragged me along on a girls day out.

We were going to do some shopping first and then meet up with some of her friends. She had decided that I needed to start hanging out with more people than her, Seth and Jacob. Moron.

I felt a buzz at my hip and pulled out the phone my mum had given me for my good grades and flicked it open. It was a txt from Jacob complaining how he couldn't work on his car when hanging out with Seth. Bella could at least understand what he was doing and I had got him to teach me as he went along. Seth got bored and apparently some other kids from the res had shown up to further hinder him. They were apparently called Quil and Embry. What stupid names, I mean Jacob was called something normal so it couldn't be a Quileute thing.

I sent a reply telling him to hang in there for 24 four hours and I would spend all day helping him tomorrow. Well only if I survive today that is.

As we reached the car park I put my phone away and got ready to get out. Bella parked in the shade of a tree as it was one of the few hot days in the wettest part of the continental United States.

"What first then?" Bella glanced at her watch, "We have 2 hours before the others get here."

I stepped forwards and heard a loud crack. Lifting my foot I saw a broken mini cassette, I reached down to pick it up and saw another lying next to it. The broken one was labelled Garboil and the other bore the name Laserbeak. I didn't know if they were the names of bands or the songs or what but they were almost a bad as Quil and Embry.

"What's that you got there?" Bella asked looking over my shoulder.

"Just some junk." I dropped the broken mini cassette into the nearby bin but the other drew me to it for some reason so I pocketed it. "Well let's get this shopping over with." I muttered darkly.

An hour later and we had walked around town without going in a single shop. Neither of us had any idea why we had come here so early, we didn't want to buy anything particular. Guess we are both idiots.

Looking around for anything to do I spotted a small shop the I had never seen before, it was wedged in between two different restaurants and the sign was chipped and starting to rot.

"Hey Bella is that shop new?"

She turned and looked like she was thinking hard for a second or so, "Halcyon? Wasn't there last time I was here."

"Let's check it out."

"OK then." She grabbed my wrist and ran forwards pulling me along. We were half way there when she tripped and brought me down on top of her. "Sorry 'bout that Leah." She giggled as we got to our feet. "Here let me kiss that better." She said seeing the small graze on my elbow.

"Hey, hey, hey!" I gasped pulling away; I could feel my face flush. "Come on; let's just go to that shop." She giggled and pulled me forwards again.

As we entered I looked around and saw that the placed extended far back and was packed with shelves floor to ceiling. The shelves were full of everything from golf clubs to funny metal contraptions that would every so often belch out steam.

The only light came from oil lamps swinging from the roof. As we reached the back the shadows were deep and impenetrable.

"How can I help?" We both jumped at the sudden voice from behind us. "We carry everything from low-tech to high-tech, from steam powered to solar powered, wind to wave." The girl was small and had massive glasses that made her look like a bug, an ugly bug.

"Er, do you have car parts?" It was a long shot but it should make up for making Jacob hang out with Seth. That dog better do something for me to make up for letting Bella drag me here.

The woman clicked her tongue, "I don't know. What part do you need? And what car is it for?"

"A master cylinder for a Volkswagen rabbit?" I hoped it wasn't too expensive. I wasn't using up my savings for that dog. Where the hell had that name come from? Oh well it seemed to fit.

"Ah yes just got one in stock yesterday, let me find it." And with that the strange little woman was gone.

I looked over at Bella but she had vanished, that can't be good. I heard a crash and turned to see a pile on stuff had fallen off the shelf with a hand sticking out of the top.

Crap I thought as I ran forwards and began pulling things off of her. "You Ok Bella?" I asked as I pulled a strange shaped piece of plastic and a box of yoyos from her face.

She nodded waving her exposed forearm, "Yeah, there wasn't any glass this time." Bella had kept the bandage on her arm long after she didn't need to; she wasn't the kind of person to cover the scar out of vanity. It had to be some other moronic reason.

"That will be $20 please." The woman was starting to piss me off. But as I whirled round to yell at her I saw something lying next to where Bella was still sat.

Picking it up, I fished the mini cassette out of my pocket and checked the size. "I'll take this as well."

"Extra $5" I pulled the relevant notes out of my wallet and handed them over.

"Come on Leah we can take that to the truck and then catch the movie with the girls." I grasped the handle of the bag and almost pulled my arm out of the socket. Dog better thank me a lot for this.

* * *

yeah the dog nickname is kinda out of nowhere but ah well what can you do, I like it.

Similar to the hint at a one shot in last chapter this one contains a hint at an ongoing story that I won't write for a while.

I felt that Leah's personality didn't realy fit a purse as she had when i first wrote this chapter so I changed it to wallet

master cylinder for a Volkswagen rabbit is the part Jacob was bribed with by Billy at the end of Twilight. go on you can check, i'll wait.

Oh and if you're wondering Garboil is an actual word meaning confusion; turmoil.

I also want to thank MrsBlaCKwIfeY and Jada91. they review each update even if just to say it was a good chapter and to keep it up. it makes me feel good that they are coming back each week so thanks you two ^.^


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8: I wish Bella was here: Seth

"So what are you doing?" I heard a growl from beneath the car and Jacob wheeled himself out to glare at me, "W-what, I'm kind of bored just watching you."

He glared at me again before getting up and pulling out his phone. "So get anywhere with Bella yet?" I squeaked and felt my face turn bright red. "What, I'm kind of bored just watching you?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Looking at his mobile his face became a grimace, "And if you weren't bad enough Quil and Embry have decided to join us."

"aw, it's nice to know you care about us."

"Yeah he's right. Here we are, wanting to help with the car but you have to be mean." The new comers were both taller than me and had dark skin like Jacob.

Jacob raised his eyebrows at them, "Help? Last time you helped I ended up losing 4 weeks of work. It took me ages to save up and replace the parts you ruined!" He held up a charred twisted piece of metal, "This was the least damaged part."

"Chillax dude. We said we were sorry at the time." One of them looked over Jacob's shoulder and saw me, "Hey who is the new kid?"

"That's Seth. Seth this is Quil and Embry"

"Oh the Clearwater kid. So when do we get to meet this Leah girl you keep talking about?" So he had been talking about us up here on the res?

Jacob blushed profusely at that and yelled at the speaker, "Shut up Quil!"

"Well we know when we aren't wanted." I jumped, I had almost forgotten the quiet Embry was here, "Come on Quil lets head out. Hey Clearwater." I jumped again as he spoke to me.

I gulped, "Y-yes." What did he want from me?

"If Jake ever hassles you just give him a dig about his feelings for your sister." He winked at me and flashed a mischievous grin.

"F-feelings?" Did he mean what I thought he meant? If he did then I wasn't the only one who had found love in the rain of Forks.

"I told you to shut up!" Jacob was even redder now, confirming my suspicions.

"No you told me to shut up actually." Quil remarked. The two were obviously practiced at aggravating him.

"Leave! Now! Both of you!"

Once they were gone Jacob turned to me fire in his eyes. I got up and moved behind his tool bench. He sighed, "So now you know then, and I guessed about you and Bella a long time ago. D-do you know if..."

He stuttered to a stop, his unstoppable confidence wavering before deserting him completely. I knew what he wanted to say so I answered his unspoken question, "Jacob, Leah cares for you but she was hurt once and it makes it hard for her to feel the feelings that others find easy. We are both different since what happened."

"Really? Thanks Seth. Leah told me about Italy, is that what you were talking about?" I saw in his eyes he was glad, was he glad that Leah might love him back or that she was OK? I would be watching him carefully to work that out.

"Yeah, how much do you know?"

"That she was nearly," I saw him pause and bite his lip; he was wondering if he could say the word in front of me. I nodded at him, "raped, is there any more to the story?" It was good for it to be acknowledged. Most people danced around the word like it was a snake, maybe what Leah needed was some that wasn't afraid of the word so she could gain some closure.

"Unfortunately yeah. One of the guys was someone she cared for very much, he used that trust to, to..." my eyes were welling up at the memory of his face but I kept my gaze locked on to Jacob's

"No way!" He growled and I felt the atmosphere tense up we were both so full of rage, rage at someone we would never see again. Our anger was impotent and going nowhere.

I had to stop this conversation neither of us was in a fit state to carry on. "Afraid so."

"And you?" His question caught me off guard and I backed up. There was a tinkle as I kicked something and Jacob came to pick it up.

"W-what?"

When he got up his face was calmer and I felt the stress evaporate, "You said that you both are different."

"Oh yeah, guess I should tell you." It involved him after all. I had never found the other guy but Jacob was right here, "If you do end up with my sister, don't ever hurt her or I will kill you." I was as serious as I would ever be. My sister would never have to deal with crying again.

He reached out and shook my shoulder. "Calm down alright? Bella is like a sister to me too so the same to you." We laughed and I could tell the distance that had been between us was gone, we had a common goal to keep our girls happy.

Wait, happy? What about the moment a month ago?

"Er, about Bella. H-has something happened to her? S-she said s-something odd to me before. She said..." I trailed off and then it hit me, the roles were now reversed. Hoping against hope I prayed that this wasn't headed in the same direction.

"I think I know what you mean. It goes back a year, back to when Wesley "Jerkass" Jones moved out..."

* * *

ok shorter than usual but the next one well be longer I promise.

Leah's backstory is outright stated for the first time, chapter one did have some hints but wasn't exactly clear.

Wesley "Jerkass" Jones and what he did is a story for another time so don't think you are going to hear it any time soon

I wasn't sure about Quil and Embry's characterisation but they are close I think.

Coming next week is the movie Leah and Bella are going to see as told by Bella


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9: that went well: Bella

Once we left Leah's stuff in the truck we headed for the cinema. Jessica and Angela were waiting outside for us; both were visibly annoyed at our lateness.

To dispel the situation I ran forwards and engulfed them in a hug, "Hey guys! Thanks for waiting!"

"Oh god. You didn't say Jessica was going to be here." I turned to see Leah roll her eyes.

Jess pulled from my grip and confronted her. "What is that supposed to mean? I thought we got along in English. We talk a lot, about anything and everything. But I guess you are just the kind of girl that is friends with people when it is convenient for you. You know what? You're just a bitch." I gasped and stepped forwards to say something but Leah looked at me and shook her head slightly. "Yes I know your type; you suck everyone dry like a parasite, feeding on those around you. You take but never give in return. So what you just going to sit there and take it huh? Come on say something you whore!"

Leah's fist struck jess' face hard and sent her to the floor. Leah crouched down and looked at her, fury in her eyes. "Don't ever call me that again or you will get more than a black eye! You say you know my type but you don't. However I know you better than you know yourself, you talk long past everyone is bored of the subject because you are insecure and need to be in control of the conversation. You have to be in charge so anyone who threatens that you try to destroy. You are the parasite feeding on others popularity in order to find a seat of power."

With that she ran and was soon lost to the crowd. I moved to follow but found a hand on my arm. Angela spoke for the first time since I got here, "Let her go, she needs her space." She turned to Jessica and spoke with venom that rarely entered her voice, "As for you, you can go now. I never liked you but now you really did it." She turned and pulled me away from her.

Later we were stood by my truck; Angela had got her car and parked it next to mine. She had the idea that Leah knew where I was parked and would probably show up there.

"So how are you doing?" We hadn't said anything since we got here and the sudden question made me jump.

"What do you mean? I'm doing great, you know I always am." This had Angela's patented _let's talk about your problems and get them dealt_ with all over it. Of course realising that made me think about my problems. Made me think of Wesley, I still refused to use everyone's name for him, and what he had done. What I had done really. This time in all the dark thoughts there was a tiny bright spot, a single grain of hope but no matter how much I tried to identify it I couldn't.

"No Bella. I know you; we have been friends for a long time and this isn't you." She was right I had changed, changed on purpose and for the better, I think.

I backed up until I was flat against the truck but she got closer, making sure she had my full attention. "A-Angela."

"Bella I gave you time, a whole year, to get over it but you need to talk about Wesley. If you can't talk to me talk to someone, anyone." She was aggressive when she had the idea to help someone. Like a dog with a bone, only a lot worse.

I quailed under her wrath. All that had happened today and the subject matter of the conversation was sending me into a relapse. "Please Angela, not now."

"If not now when?" She was right of course; Angela was always right about this sort of thing. Why did I not want to talk about it? Angela had always been an ear when I needed to vent, a shoulder when I needed to cry and above all a friend.

Maybe that was it; maybe it was the company still wasn't close enough. What about Jake? He was like a brother to me but no. He still wasn't the one I needed to talk to.

"Friends aren't enough. It's going to take more to get me past this." Maybe if I could find the source of that grain of hope it would lead me in the right direction.

"Then talk to Seth."

My head whipped round to face her. "W-what?" Seth? I thought about it, my feelings for him were still a whirlwind of confusion.

"I can see it in you Bella. You love him. Why won't you let him love you back?"

"It isn't that easy. I can't let me love him." What I had done to Wesley was because he had seen the real me. Loving Seth made it too easy to show him. "but it gets harder every day. Each time I see the compassion in his eyes I lose a little more resolve."

The anger returned to her eyes. "What that Jerkass did was not your fault Bella." No matter how many times they said it I still refused to believe it.

"Sorry Angela but I just can't talk to you about this. Maybe I could talk to Seth, I'll try I promise." I would have the chance tomorrow.

We turned at the sound of footprints on the gravel of the car park. Leah was stood there looking very upset still. "Hey guys. Sorry I went crazy like that but she..."

Angela stepped forwards and held her arm to steady her. "She provoked you; I'm only upset that I didn't get to hit her myself."

She needed rest. "Come on Leah, let's head home." She looked ready to collapse at any moment. I might even have to carry her to her bed when we returned to her house.

"Yeah thanks. Thank you both." She mumbled as we got her into the passenger seat and she began to snore gently. She was mentally exhausted.

"Anytime." I whispered.

Angela got into her car and before leaving call across to me. "Yeah well see you two around. Bella don't forget now."

"I won't."

* * *

only one chapter this week. I don't really have an excuse but I was retooling my plans so didn't get round to another chapter.

Nothing to say about the chapter really except that Angela was never meant to appear as much as she is going to. I just found myself liking her and she is going to be a recurring character from now on.


	10. Chapter 10

Part 10: I love the rain: Leah

I walked slowly across the small field that separated Jacob's house from his workshop. He was proud of it, built it by hand from three of those flat pack sheds. Bolted them together and removed the connecting walls, they were on slabs of concrete to stop them sinking in the rain.

As I got to the doorway he lifted his head from his baby, I hated people that treated cars like people, it was dumb. "Hey girl. What's in the bag?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." I chuckled. Then I looked at him pointedly as if to tell him something. He seemed to struggle internally before I laughed again. "You should have seen your face."

He snarled slightly and then grabbed a screwdriver from the work bench. "Hey that wasn't funny."

I changed the subject quickly. "Ah you missed it yesterday, I saw this Shelby GT 500 in town." It was his favourite car and he would be jealous I knew. I loved messing with the guy.

"Damn, would have loved to see that."

"So still working on that rabbit?" I ran my fingers over the side before sliding myself onto the bonnet.

"Yeah can't go any further till I get that master cylinder though." He looked dejected; he had been after that part since way before I moved here. Any he found were way out of his price range. A giggle escaped my lips at how easy I had found one. I immediately blushed a deep red, had I just giggled? God how girly could I get?

Jacob just looked at me and eyebrow raised, idiot, and that made me blush further. To cover my embarrassment I turned to look out at the sky, it was just starting to drizzle.

"Well I may be able to help you there." The dog's face lit up at that and both his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "For a price." His face froze for a moment before becoming a mask a cynicism.

"And what's that?"

I knew he could easily convince me to give it to him for free but this was my only chance. "That's for me to know and you to find out."

He sighed "Ok ok now what did you mean help?"

"Well I have this." I said sliding the master cylinder out of my bag. "You owe me big." The dog would be howling when I was finished with him.

He put the screwdriver back in place. "What do you want?"

"Oh you will see my friend." The word friend struck me, why couldn't we be more? Guess it was the dog's fault for not loving me. "Now let's get this thing in." I was dejected but being under the car might distract me.

He hit the CD player and it started plying the music he always listened to when working. "That's what I'm talking about." In his excitement Jacob had missed my facial expression, if it had even changed. He grabbed the two sleds from their place at the wall and handed one to me. "You helping?"

"Sure."

As we rolled under, Jacob began explaining what we would be doing. I had been helping enough to get the gist of it. As we started working he looked over at me. "Hey when did you get your hair cut?"

I continued working for a few seconds. He had noticed! Joy flowed trough me, why? "The other day, wanted to get my fringe out of my eyes." He was so close that I felt something odd, something that I had not felt in a while. So long I didn't realise what it was.

Before long we were sliding out from the car and getting to our feet. There was a loud grumble and Jacob rubbed his stomach embarrassedly. "Now that that's done we should get something to eat." He let out his barking laugh.

As he turned off the music we could hear a strong pounding. "Ah man! It's raining." The heavens had really opened and it was pouring. The two of us exchanged knowing looks; Bella and Seth were at the beach and would be getting soaked. It was a few seconds before we both cracked up. Leaning on each other we stumbled around.

"They were going to have a picnic."

"And they didn't take any coats!" We both starting laughing again. Words now impossible.

"Come on lets run it." I felt his hands on my back and before I could react I was in the rain and he soon followed me.

As he ran past I tripped him and then jumped on top of him. "Like you could get away with that you dog!" And with that we were rolling around fighting to get on top.

"Hey kids get in here now!" Billy yelled. We halted our scuffle and Jacob was crouched over me, so close we were almost nose to nose. For what could be hours but was more likely seconds we lay there panting heavily, staring at each other's eyes.

"Come on girl. You can borrow some clothes." He pulled me up and hurried me inside.

I picked up the towel that had been left for me and shut off the shower. "Oh god, I'm sorry." I spun round and saw a tall boy in the doorway, glancing down I quickly pulled the towel up to cover me. The boy shut the door and called through, "Sorry again, talk to you when you're decent."

The Jerkass! Talk? Yeah right! Argue more like!

I pounded down the stairs in an old t-shirt and jeans of Jake's. The three of them were sat round the small table, Billy in his wheel chair. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Jacob was up, hands on my shoulders. "Hey calm down girl, what happened?"

I was trying to get passed him and attack the other boy. "This Jerkass walked in on me!"

He spun around but still blocked me. "What? Sam is that true?"

The Sam guy was way too nonchalant for me, I just got madder. "Sorry dude but I didn't hear the shower running."

By this point I was shouting at the top of my voice. "You still took your sweet time leaving!"

"Fine, fine I'll go. Wait till you cool down and then we can talk about it." He got up and headed for the door, "Oh and Leah. Nice rack."

I let out a rage filled yell at him.

* * *

One chapter again this week, sorry but I think it's going to be single updates from now on.

Sam is very different from his canon self but I have a reason that will be revealed later on.


	11. Chapter 11

Part 11: Happy to be sad: Bella

I looked out at the rain from the cave me and Seth were sheltering in. It was such a good day that we had gone to the beach but then the wind changed. It was now pouring down and we would be here for hours.

I had spent a restless night thinking on what Angela had said yesterday and had decided to tell Seth what I had done to Wesley. When I saw him however I changed my mind, one more day before everything changes. Hope things work out better for me than they did for Peter Parker.

We had walked on the beach watching the birds fly over head. Well I was but when I looked over at him he was looking at me as if I was all that existed in his world.

At that moment I tripped over a piece of driftwood and his hand shot out to grab my elbow. "Caught you this time." He smiled and I was infected with his good mood. "So what was yesterday like?"

"A bit weird. We never saw the movie in the end. Jessica was totally chewing Leah out and then she wigged out and hit Jess in the face before running off. It was totally awesome." I looked away to hide my face, that was too like the kind of thing that made Wesley...

Seth turned serious. "Did that Jessica girl call her something like?" He gulped before carrying on, "slut or anything like that?"

"Oh yeah she said whore I think. Why would..." I trailed off when I remembered what had happened in Italy. "Oh, I see. Well that makes sense I suppose."

"Ah man it's raining. We were going to have a picnic." Seth said his hand outstretched as a few drops landed on his palm.

"And we didn't bring any coats." I dropped my bag to the floor and put my hand in his. "Can I have this dance?"

"D-dance?" but I had already pulled him forwards and he put his other hand on my waist, surrendering to my joy.

Suddenly it hit me, I was happy around Seth. I thought he made me my true self. Unless this was the real me now, not overly happy but also not depressed. I leaned in close and put my head on his shoulder. "Thank you Seth."

"You keep thanking me at completely random times, when are you going to tell me the true story?"

"tomorrow." I heard the surprised noise he made at the definite answer. "I was going to tell you today but then I decided to spend one more day with you."

"Let's hope it works out better for me than it did for MJ."

I giggled, "That's exactly what I said, sort of."

"Well consider me awesomed by you."

We stopped dancing and I suddenly realised how wet I was. "Hey its really coming down we should get out of here." I ran to pick up my bag and held it to my chest to shelter the thing inside it.

"Yeah there is a cave over there we can wait for it to lighten up there." And that was how we ended up in a cave on the beach; we had talked about all sorts of stuff but nothing that really mattered.

We were sat together, shoulder to shoulder, and I could hear his light snoring. As he slept I rested my head on his and soon drifted off myself.

I found myself stood on a cloud looking down at earth; it looked so small from up here. "Hey there girl. Looks like you found a good guy down there." I spun round to find the source of the familiar voice

He stood there, the boy I had wronged a year ago. He was tall and had messy brown hair just as I remembered but what was new was the white clothes and wings. They emanated from his shoulders and were mechanical looking. "W-Wesley? What the hell is going on?"

He gave his smile, a smile no one had ever mimicked correctly, it was his personal smile. "Wrong direction girl, remember I'm not a murderer." His eyes were still full of warmth as he told me what I feared the most.

"What no I-" It was an accident but before I could finish the sentence he cut me off. Walking towards me, backing me towards the edge. Soon I would fall, just like he did.

"Cut it out we all know what you did, you killed me!"

I fell to my knees and clasped my hands to my ears, trying to cut out the noise of a million voices repeating what the boy had said. "nononononononononono."

I felt his hand on my shoulder and he whispered into my ear. "Good bye Bella. You don't deserve to be here." He pushed and I was falling down faster and faster. The voices were still yelling no matter how I tried to block them out.

"Bella wake up." Seth was shaking me, his face torn by worry.

"Don't worry Seth. I'm ok, the nightmare is over." And inside I knew I was right, his love protected me from what I feared. "But now I can't tell you what I was going to because you wouldn't love me afterwards."

"Impossible but you take your time."

* * *

for those of you who thought you had the Wesley think sorted this should confuse you. Just so you know, he is visually based on me and the wings are important.

Forgot to mention it last week but the Shelby GT 500 is a reference to gone in 60 seconds, one of my fav films.

This week we have two references to one more day, a story arc in the Spiderman comics. "Well consider me awesomed by you." Is a reversed form of "Why aren't you awesomed by me?" said by Molly Hayes in runaways (the comic).

I plan to release two extras for this story, one about Jacob and one about Wesley. They will come out when they are written and the Wesley one should confuse his role even more. Have fun trying to figure him out ^.^

soz for the late update but fanfic has been a bit buggy


	12. Chapter 12

Part 12: Long walk home: Leah

As I ate my breakfast I thought about what had happened yesterday. Jacob had done nothing but protect that jerkass. He had tried to explain, saying that Sam always got what he wanted on the res.

He had told me that anything he did would come back to haunt him later. Guess he really doesn't love me then, he would rather take the quick fix easy way out.

I stood up so fast I knocked the chair over with a clatter. I wasn't going to take that! I would go up to la push and give the pair of them a piece of my mind.

"Erm, Leah? What are you doing?" My head spun around to face the voice. I had forgotten Seth was sat on the other side of the table.

I picked my chair up and took my bowl to the sink. "None of your business twerp." No way could I walk, I would have to get a lift up there.

"Sorry just taking an interest. Oh hey are you going to see Bella today?" Had the kid just read my mind or was it coincidence? I was such a freak for really considering that.

"Yeah I guess, why?"

Seth looked very nervous as he spoke. "Can you tell her I'm going to be busy and can't hang out?"

"Tell her yourself." I wasn't his message girl.

He flushed a deep red and looked away as if avoiding the issue. "But if I see her I probably will decide not to go and I really need to get her a birthday present." He hadn't got her one yet?

I shot off one last insult before leaving to get changed. "Fine I'll tell her. You drama queen."

The worst thing about the 'girls take ages to get dressed' stereotype? That it's bloody true.

I rushed outside and ran the three houses to Bella's house. Stopping a moment I knocked and tapped my foot while I waited.

The door creaked open and Bella's face came into view. "Hey Bella. Fancy driving me up to la push?"

"Well I could, but I was going to see what Seth was doing." She stifled a yawn and pulled the door open a bit more.

I pushed it open and pulled her out by her wrist. "He's going out. Come on in the truck." She jumped back into the cover of the door way and glowered at me. My eyes travelled down and I noticed she was only wearing a long t-shirt; it covered everything but was still a little under dressed for going out.

"Leah! Let me get dressed first!"

I waved at Bella as she drove away and turned to the door. I turned the handle but it was locked, I stared at my hand for a few confusing minutes before it sank in, Jacob never locked the door and neither did Billy.

I knocked and waited. Still no answer, this was odd, never had I been unable to find someone home.

I practically ran across the field to his workshop. It was locked; another oddity, but I had a spare key for some reason. I pulled it out and something dropped to the floor. "Crap." It was that mini cassette, come to think of it why did I even have that with me?

After picking it up and unlocking the door I stepped inside to find a note addressed to me on the nearest tool bench. God had no one heard of that thing I like to call the phone?

I glanced at the note and saw it was written in a hurry, _Leah if you read this note I didn't get a chance to phone you yet. My sister is in hospital; we found out last night and rushed out in a hurry. Talk to you soon, Jacob._

"Damn it; guess I'm walking back then. Well at least I don't have a sibling in hospital. Hope she's ok." I looked around as I realised I was talking to myself but no one had overheard me.

As I started my long trek home I got that mini caste out and flipped it over in my hands. It was nothing special and when I tried to play it all the came out the speakers was a sharp chattering noise. I had no idea why I kept it.

"Hey girl, love the view from back here but maybe we can talk about what happened now." I know that voice! I spun around to see Sam stood with a cocky grin on his face.

"What are you on about you jerkass? I hate you, why would I want to fucking talk to you about anything?" I glanced around to see that we were in the middle of nowhere, just us and the road. He had planned this out very carefully

"So I can explain and then you will see what an awesome guy I really am. For the record you mentioned fucking first." He had got way too close for comfort and was speaking in what he hoped was a sexy tone.

I stepped forwards and brought my knee into his groin before pushing him over.

"I get what I want you know! You can run but you will always have miles to go before you escape me!" He wheezed. Guess I didn't hit him hard enough if he could still talk.

I ignored him and just walked away.

"Jerkass!"

* * *

Just when you thought I had forgotten those arc words here they are again. I still won't tell you what they are but should be easy enough to work out. They are the only bit of common dialogue between this chapter and chapter 4.

Not much else to say really except hope you like this chapter


	13. Chapter 13

Part 13: What does she want: Seth

Once Leah had left I dumped my plate in the sink as well and went up stairs to grab my wallet and get changed.

I was in desperate need of a present for Bella. I had wasted too much time trying to find something perfect and now zero hour was approaching fast.

Before long I was at the shopping area such as it was. The first three stores were food and camping supplies but next was an electronic store that might have something.

As I stared at some CDs waiting for inspiration to strike I felt some one tap me on the shoulder. I turned to see Bella's friend stood in front of me. "Angela?"

"Yeah, you shopping for anything special?"

I nodded and turned back to the rack and scanned the artist names. Nothing seemed to be the right sort of music for her. "Need a present for Bella." I started walking towards the back of the store.

Angela followed me. "Bit late aren't you? Any ideas?" Yes but you can't buy liquid happiness.

I wish I had gone into Seattle when I had the chance and got something then. I wanted her to see how much I cared for her. I wanted to see her face light up with joy when she unwrapped it. Nothing measured up to her. I would just have to find something she wanted but hadn't asked for but everything I thought of was impossible to find.

It suddenly registered that I still hadn't answered her question. "Nope I was waiting to find something perfect." I had looked at every CD in the store and there was nothing. I glanced around at the walls of the store and something on the wall sparked a half forgotten memory. "Wait that's it! A radio for her truck, she keeps saying she wants one."

I ran to the wall and pulled one off of the shelf. Angela patted me on the shoulder and I turned to see her smiling. "Good idea pup. Now about the two of you."

"W-what about the two of you, I mean us." I backed away slightly and held the radio up for the meagre protection it provided. This wasn't what I wanted to talk about.

"You keep dancing around each other and each step you take forwards she takes a step back, do you know why?"

"Yeah she was going to explain everything but then she didn't for some reason. I need to find some time to tell her I know what happened with Wesley, Jacob told me." I could feel the anger rising in me. My knuckles were white as I gripped the box harder and my jaw was clenched.

A hand reached out and rubbed my shoulder. "Calm down Seth, theirs two sides to each story. No one actually knows Bella's side but I think you can find out."

That one almost managed to make me to drop the radio. "How?" If her friends had tried to make her tell the story for years how could I, some one that had just met her this year, get her to spill?

"The pair of you just have a connection." Her parting words flew around me all the way home. Did we really have anything special? I hoped so but she seemed to shy away from me and then she would kiss me and totally confuse me.

**Please help her**

My head snapped up and I looked around. The street I was on was empty even for Forks. The voice sounded like it came from someone looking over my shoulder and from right in front of me at the same time.

Like someone was watching me walk in their footsteps. It was ever so creepy.

**Please it wasn't her fault help her**

There was that voice again. I put a finger in my ear and wiggled it about before carrying on down the street. I was nearly home when it happened again, it was getting more insistent and I couldn't ignore it any more.

**You must make her see that it was me not her**

"What wasn't her fault?" I asked the voice.

**I am Yggdrasil I watched him fall The beast wants her to blame herself for some reason Please help her recover**

"OK I will try."

**There is no try Only do or do not**

For the second time today a hand fell on my shoulder. I spun to see Bella, a pained look on her face. "Seth? Who are you talking to?"

"Oh, er, no one. Wait no, I wasn't talking to myself." I quickly hid the bag behind my back.

"Don't worry I don't think you are mad. Could you come with me?"

"O-OK, where are we going?"

She held the truck door open for me before she continued. "A place I like to go to think." The place turned out to be a cliff on the reservation.

* * *

OK you might notice this is a bit late, gonna be dropping the regular updates. Still try to get once a week but might fail that a bit.

Yggdrasil won't be revealed nor will the beast. That will have to wait for another story. As for Yggdrasil's speech, he does have sentences just no punctuation, look for the capitals.

Took me a while to find a present for Seth to give Bella but then I twig on this, I also have a little extra thing that you will have to wait and see. The cliff at the end is the cliff diving cliff BTW.


	14. Chapter 14

Part 14: So it ends: Bella

I drove away as Leah waved from the porch. All the way home my thoughts were on Seth.

He was so sweet and seemed to think he could always love me. He wouldn't after today though. I had to tell someone about Wesley and soon. The pain I felt was leaking out. Seth cared about me the most so if he couldn't handle it then no one could. Maybe if he could cope then we could be together as more than friends.

As I was driving through town I saw Seth walking alone and stopped the truck at the side of the road.

I walked up behind him and he was stood talking to himself. "OK I will try." I put my hand on his shoulder and he spun around.

"Seth? Who are you talking to?" I tried to remove the pained look from my face but it wouldn't go away.

"Oh, er, no one. Wait no, I wasn't talking to myself." My mouth pulled up on a small smile. It always cheered me up when Seth was nervous.

I stepped forwards into his personal space but he didn't react, that was good. "Don't worry I don't think you are mad. Could you come with me?" I wasn't about to tell him in the middle of town.

"O-OK, where are we going?"

I walked back to the truck and opened the passenger door for him. "A place I like to go to think." He smiled and got in.

For the second time I drove up to La Push, up to a cliff overlooking the ocean. We got out and moved to the front of the truck where we leaned against the grill. "Jacob brought me here when we were younger and we did some cliff diving. I almost drowned, never going to do that again." We lapsed into silence, the wind blew and the only sound was the sea slapping against the cliff wall.

I closed my eyes and let the wind rustle my hair. It was nice; just being with Seth.

I felt his hand intertwine with mine and his breath in my ear as he whispered. "What did you want to tell me? I don't mean to be rude but is it about Wesley?"

I gulped and opened my eyes looking at Seth; we were now only inches away from each other. We both blushed and turned away, neither of us moved further away though. "Who told you about him?" I needed to know which story he had got.

"Jacob, he said that Wesley was your boyfriend and that you loved each other. He then said that he moved away suddenly without warning, breaking your heart." His knuckles on the hand resting on the car were white but the hand still intertwined with mine was gentle. His jaw was tight and his eyes were steely.

He was angry at the wrong person. I had to sort this out quickly. "No if anything broke it was him. He fell from a cliff and died." Seth's face ran the gauntlet of emotions, finally settling on shock.

"That's what he meant..." He whispered.

"What?"

He shook his head and smiled at me again. "Nothing, never mind. Just something I heard."

I lifted his hand up and clasped it between both of mine. "Seth I want to tell you how it happened, you are the first to hear this story.

"We had been together for a year and we had taken a trip up to Phoenix to meet my mum. We were sat at the edge of another cliff, I like to sit and look out at open sky when I think. He ended up talking about all kinds of things; finally he looked at me sadly and said that his mum was moving to England, she had some new job at a big firm over there and he had to go with her.

"He saw that I was sad and tried to cheer me up my making it a joke. He jumped up and started to dance around on the edge and then he slipped. I couldn't reach him in time and he was dead before I could get down to him."

My tears fell without halting. "So you see it was all my fault."

"Nope, don't see that at all."

"But Seth..." I stopped talking. It was slightly hard to continue with his lips on mine.

"Shut up you." He held me tight and I smiled, today was a good day. "I love you Bella, nothing will ever change that."

"Thank you Seth. I love you too."

That night I had the dream again. Wesley was there, mechanical wings on his shoulders. It happened exactly the same, nothing had changed, I had thought that sorting things out with Seth would solve this.

"Good bye Bella. You don't deserve to be here." He pushed and I was falling down faster and faster. The voices were still yelling no matter how I tried to block them out.

Then I jerked to a halt. I looked down at the ground and then up to see Seth's smiling face. "Told you I would be there to catch you."

With that I woke up and looked other at Seth, it was nice to have him near me. I smiled.

* * *

be ready for mega drama next upload.

I now have twitter and will be updateing it with how far I am on the next chapter. My username is CaptinTienLong


	15. Chapter 15

Part 15: My worst fear: Leah

I woke to the sound of yelling, loud yelling. I groaned and reached out of the covers and grabbed my phone to check the time.

Half past nine on a Saturday, I groaned again and started to listen to the yelling. It was mum and I was still too asleep to fully understand it but the general theme seemed to be about taking responsibility for your actions.

Mum paused every so often, probably to give the other person a chance to reply to her but I couldn't hear them. Most likely Seth anyway, vaguely wondering what he did I rolled over and shut my eye again.

Wait did she just say sex? I got up so fast I fell to the floor with a crash. "Great, now you woke Leah." I got up and rubbed my head. Mum had lowered her voice a bit but was still perfectly audible. "And now I'm late for work, we will pick this up later young man."

I shuffled down stairs to find Seth just standing there. "Did mum say sex or was I just half asleep?"

I walked past him to get the milk from the fridge. "Yeah she did."

"Oh right. Wait, what?" My little brother and a girl? Sex? Well it better have been Bella at least.

Seth was twisting his hands together and it didn't seem like he could stay still. "It's all a big misunderstanding. Me and Bella got back late and were so tired we crashed out on her bed. In the mourning Charlie came in and found us."

"Oh if you say so." I yawned and rested my head on the cereal box, almost going back to sleep. Before I could my phone rang. Picking it up, I flipped it open, held it to my ear and growled. "What do you want? Oh Jacob, didn't know it was you." I started to drag my fingers through my hair trying to straighten it even though he couldn't see me over the phone line.

His barking laughter echoed down the phone line. "Says you. Rachel's fine but let's not talk about that now. I'm coming home today, be there around 12-ish." He had phoned last night after I got back and I had let him know about Sam. He wanted to be home as soon as possible just in case. "Sam hasn't tried anything has he?"

I shook my head, again not that he could see. "No no, I'm fine." Why be so worried, Sam just made some silly threats is all.

"Awesome. Hey can I have a quick chat with Seth?"

"Sure you can, if you can be bothered to phone him." And with that I hung up on him. A smile pulled itself onto my face and I settled down to my breakfast.

"Leah, nothing happened really..."

Hours later I left the house; Seth still trying to convince me. Even when I was in the shower he was talking through the door at me.

I managed to shake him off by shutting the front door in his face. Half way up to the road out of Forks I ran into Bella. And after some meaningless chatter we got back around to last night.

"Honestly nothing happened. I just came out here for my dad's favourite take out and then I'm going to calm him down." She held up the cheep plastic bag filled with even cheaper cardboard boxes. "And maybe after all that the three of us can sort it out."

I pinched my nose for a second and groaned again. "Bella, me and Seth talked about this already. Well actually he talked, at length. The point is I don't really care. You say you didn't do it and I believe you."

"Thank you Leah." She embraced me in a bear hug and ran off calling over her shoulder, "Better go or this food is going to get cold."

I continued my long walk. All this going back and forth between home and Jacob's was doing wonders for my fitness.

When I got the Jacob's front door I leant against the frame and pulled the mini cassette out of my pocket and twirled it in my fingers. I had put it on while I was getting dressed but all that happened was the speakers let out a loud screeching noise. I had no idea why I still had it, I should throw it away next chance I get but every time I tried there was a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I should keep it close to me.

Suddenly the door open behind me and I stumbled back. Something struck my head and I slipped into unconsciousness.

When I came to I was in a rough sitting position with my hand handcuffed over my head. I was bruised all over and my leg felt like it was broken somewhere. I could barely see through my swollen eyes but I could hear perfectly.

There was some kind of scuffle going on outside and I could make out shouting. When it finished there was a scrabbling at the door and someone entered. He reached above me and the cuffs fell away. Picking me up a familiar voice spoke in my ear. "Sorry I wasn't here sooner Leah."

"No I'm the sorry one; I shouldn't have come here not after what Sam said. Thank you Jacob, I love you." Was what I wanted to say but all that came out was a choked "Thank you."

* * *

nothing to say really except lucky you, two chapters in three days. Don't get used to this pace tho.

Again my twitter account will have updates on my writing progress and explainations on things that happen. My account is CaptinTienLong


	16. Chapter 16

Part 16: A chance meeting: Bella

"We didn't sleep together!" Angela and I were stood in my kitchen as I washed the dishes. I sighed again; guess Seth sleeping in my bed was a mistake. Dad wouldn't let him inside the house even after I did my best to convince him that nothing happened and Seth was in mega trouble with Sue. I hope they only needed to cool down and then it would be OK by my birthday.

Angela had that smile on

that told me I was not going to like what she was about to say. "You say."

I felt my face blush slightly and yelled. "I think I would know!"

She grinned at me in a way that was slightly worrying. "Ever hear the original version of sleeping beauty?"

My face creased up as I wondered what she meant. Then after a moment I twigged and my eyes went wide. She was talking about Sun, Moon, and Talia. "You don't think..."

"Little Seth? Yeah right, not likely Talia" She burst out in side splitting laughter; half at me believing Seth was capable of that and half at me cringing at the idea.

I waited a few moments for her to stop but she wouldn't so I reached out and covered her mouth with my hand. "Stop it! I asked you here for a reason and this isn't it."

"Yeah yeah, you wanted help planning your birthday party." After that we started chatting about all sorts of things and did a little planning.

All the while I was thinking about Seth; we had miles to go till we were ready to take that step together but I knew that I was ready for him. He had shown me that I could have someone like him even if he was too good for me. Thinking back Wesley was the same but I don't think I loved him. Not like I do Seth anyway.

The nightmares that I had had for the last year were gone and now when I thought about Wesley it was a happy memory of when he was alive and not horror at remembering his face as he fell. I gave a small involuntary shudder and if Angela noticed she didn't say anything.

After about an hour working on plans Angela looked up at me. "So you really didn't sleep with him?"

"No, could you stop asking please." I wish people would drop it. Well I guess it could be worse I could have been Seth and had to put up with Leah's mocking. And speaking of Leah I still couldn't believe Sam had done that to her! Lucky Jake got back when he did.

"But why were you in the same bed then?" Angela said cutting off my train of thought.

I got up and stretched, ignoring the sounds of my joints popping but giggling when Angela winced. "Two people can sleep together without actually sleeping together Angela. Just, you know, enjoying each other's closeness." I smiled, I loved being near Seth, doesn't matter what we were doing as long as we were doing it together.

"I guess so." Angela said getting up as well "Hey if we want to get to the hospital to visit Leah we better go now. We could get there quicker if we drove ya know."

"Yeah but it's such a nice day."

As we walked I glanced at Angela; she had the look of deep thought on her face and seemed to by mulling something over. "So enjoying each other's closeness eh? Wish I had that."

I reached out and patted her shoulder. "Oh don't worry I'm sure you will sometime." I had seen the way she and Ben looked at each other; they would be together by my party I just bet.

"Hey you dropped this." We turned to see a girl with her long brown hair pulled back in a trio of pony tails. She was holding out a pencil that I had in my pocket or I thought I did anyway. I wouldn't have missed it if I had lost it but took it anyway.

"Thanks. Hey I recognise you. Don't know where from."

"Yeah me too, must have been down in Seattle. Doubt you would have missed it but manners cost nothing. My name is Freya how about you two?"

"Angela and she's Bella."

"Oh cool. Hey did you ever notice that only humans bare their teeth when they are happy. Anything else and the teeth mean it's a threat, weird huh? Just another way humans set themselves up as better than animals. Its arrogance that's what it is, can we swim like a fish or run as fast as a cheetah? I don't think so, humans should just learn that all these ways we act different is unnatural and shouldn't be seen as a good thing."

Angela was pulling me past trying to get away from the odd girl. "OK then, well we have to be going now." After that the walk was uneventful and we were soon at the hospital.

Leah was OK just a black eye. It had looked so much worse than it was; the only risk was her leg might have been broken. "You OK?"

Leah looked like she was ready to kill someone and Jacob was in as bad a mood. "Yeah they just won't let me go till my x-rays are back."

* * *

Rant: yeah finally got a new chapter done should be some more coming soon but only four chapters till the end.

Freya has appeared before BTW and as a clue for you Yggdrasil and Freya both appear in Norse mythology so there may be a connection there (vague foreshadowing FTW)

A note on her hair: It's in the same style as the main character of x-blades if I didn't describe it very well

More on what actually happened to Leah at the end of last chapter in the next update.


	17. Chapter 17

Part 17: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: Leah

Over the past several days, Jacob said it had been 5, I slipped in and out of consciousness not really taking anything in. Now I was better and had just had a visit from Bella and Angela. Since they had left and Jake was in the toilet I was alone.

"What you watching?" He asked as he returned. The TV was on but I wasn't paying any attention to what was showing.

I looked at the screen for a moment and then read the title card out loud. "Apparently it's a show trying to find out who Hannah Montana really is." I scoffed at that, who gives a damn. "Turn it off will you?"

"Sure thing. So how are you feeling? Been a rough week."

I looked away from him as I answered. "What happened with Sam? I don't remember anything about it." Except him rescuing me, if he was too good a person to love scum like me before then there was no hope now.

"I'll tell you what I know. Rachel could see that I was worried about you and told me to leave; dad is still there now, that was when I phoned you. Two trains and a taxi later and I was at your house. Seth answered and said you had gone up to La Push to surprise me so I got back in the taxi and told him to step on it, Seth was trying to tell me something but I wasn't listening.

"When I was nearly there I phoned you up on your mobile and it was answered by Sam; he said 'back so soon little Jakey I should hurry up and leave then'. I told the driver to call the police and jumped from the cab as soon as it was near and ran to my house looked through and couldn't find you so I headed out back just in time to see the bastard opening the door of my work shop.

"I won't go into details but when the police arrived I had him pinned to the ground and then they took him and soon the ambulance arrived for you and here we are." Someone that perfect must have a flaw, something I can cling onto as a sign that we can be together.

Then still not looking at him I asked what I should have when this all started. "Why were you friends with this jerkass?"

"It's kind of complicated, not something I can explain. Just accept that we were not friends." We were silent for a while just listening to each other breathe. As I was about to speak again I suddenly slipped out of consciousness.

When I opened my eyes again I figured I was dreaming. My first clue was that I was sat in the branches of a huge tree and it was floating through space. If I wasn't taking all manner of pain killers I would have to wonder what this said about my subconscious but even so I have to ask what the fuck is going on?

"What the hell are you doing here?" I wind milled my arms as I almost fell back off the branch. The girl that had popped up in front of me slammed her foot on top of my leg, jamming it against the tree. Hanging I looked up at her, she was very familiar looking, her long brown hair pulled back in a triple pony tail. A cloak of feathers flowed out behind her looking almost like a pair of wings.

"I was going to ask the same thing, where is this." She pulled her foot away and before I dropped grabbed my ankle and flipped me in the air so I landed on a limb wide enough to stand safely on.

"There are all manners of aspects to that question." She sighed and I caught a glimpse of some one behind her. He was silhouetted against a passing moon and had bat like wings sprouting from his back, then I blinked and he was gone. "Maybe this is his work."

I turned back to her. "What?" Who's work?

"Oh nothing, just thinking aloud. Now this seems to be a dream you are having but..." There was a flash of light and when it was gone the colour had drained from her hair till she was blonde and her deep blue eyes gripped me and wouldn't let go. Tears spilled out of my eyes at how unearthly beautiful she was. "Thought so you need to stop holding back and let the boy in."

I sat up in the hospital bed still crying and looked down at Jacob sleeping in the chair next to my bed. I leaned down and whispered in his ear. "I love you."

Weeks later me and Bella were getting ready for her birthday celebration. I still had a slight limp but otherwise I was fine. On the outside anyway.

As we were talking about nothing much the door bell rang. "Hey Leah could you zip me up so I can go answer that, it might be the boys."

"OK but if it is they are really early." I helped her and then turned to my own outfit. Bella had picked it for me to stop me from going in jeans and a t-shirt. I was already wearing the skirt but anyway I looked at the top it was just far too girly, oh well might as well get it over with.

"Hey Leah you should get down here."

I leaned out of the bedroom door and yelled back. "Cant it wait?"

"No it really can't."

"Fine, I'll be a minute." I huffed and pulled the top over my head.

When I got down I looked quizzically at Bella before a girl stepped out into view. She had three scars trailing over her face but I could still recognise her. "What are you doing here?" I ran forward and enveloped her in a bear hug. "God it is you, you're real. I thought you were dead. I missed you Emily."

* * *

this is what we in the biz call a wham ending. Yeah so Emily is scared but for different reasons than in canon. Next chapter will focus on her and explaining Leah's comment.

This makes the third appearance of Freya. Anyone guessed what her first appearance was yet?

More Norse imagery in Leah's dream BTW. Yggdrasil the world tree and Freya the goddess of love among other things.

also head to my profile for an extra story about Wesley and a bit of backstory called "Pages from the diary of Wesley Jones"


	18. Chapter 18

Part 18: When did it get so complicated: Bella

I smiled as I watched Leah alternate between fighting her hair into shape and glaring at the animals around my mirror. She was so frantic since tonight was her and Jakey's first 'real-actually-official-going-out-in-public-together-in-a-romantic-fashion' as she was calling it.

I reached out and took the brush from her. "You're only making it worse, let me." She grumbled something but didn't argue. "So glad you decided to have your first dat- I mean RAOGPTRF at my party. I picked something for you to wear like I said I would." There was a fresh grimace at this.

"You went with something girly didn't you?" She glanced at my smile in the mirror. "Oh gods help me."

After about twenty minutes of this sort of thing the doorbell rang and I went to answer it. Stood outside was a girl with most of her face covered in bandages. "Wha? Who are you?" I stammered, backing away from her.

"Yeah I get that a lot." She sighed. "I'm looking for Leah Clearwater; I'm Emily, her cousin." She stepped inside and removed her hat before undoing the bandages, letting them fall down and hang loosely around her neck.

Her face was crisscrossed with scars. I quickly ran to the stairs and yelled. "Hey Leah you should get down here."

"Cant it wait?" She was obviously trying to avoid having to put the stuff I had picked out on for as long as possible.

"No it really can't." My voice was really high pitched, embarrassingly so. I hoped I wasn't upsetting Emily.

Leah came down stairs, she looked good; not as good as me but that was the point. She looked around till her eyes caught Emily and she ran forward enveloping her in a bear hug "What are you doing here? God it is you, you're real. I thought you were dead. I missed you Emily."

"OK what the hell is going on here?"

They separated from the hug and Leah looked at me. "5 years ago Emily went missing and we all assumed it was a kidnapping but the police found nothing and we eventually gave up on her. That's what I know anyway." I could see tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke. It was obviously a sore topic with her.

Emily started to explain but she was clearly nervous and kept pausing as if she was being careful what words she was using. "I was... working somewhere in London on a five year contract but something went wrong, I think. I woke up in hospital in china a few weeks ago with these scars. My... employers got in contact with me and I still got paid fully so I can afford to have them removed soon but as soon as I got out of hospital I wanted to track down my family first. You guys were the first ones I found." She smiled down at Leah and pulled her into another hug.

Leah hugged her back. "What were you doing in China? No never mind it's not important. Well mum should have your parent's addresses if you wait for her to get back home."

"Oh cool, where's Harry? At work?" Leah pulled away and gasped. She turned away to hide the tears that had spilled over.

I spoke up when Leah remained quiet. "Harry passed away."

Emily gasped and put her hand over her mouth "Oh my god. I'm so sorry." Oddly she seemed more upset about Leah's reaction than to the fact that her uncle had died, maybe they weren't very close.

"No it's OK." I smiled gently; this was a much healthier reaction than she would have had when she first came here.

"Are you two dressed up for something special?" Emily tried to quickly change the subject as she rubbed Leah's shoulders.

"Yeah it's my birthday" I gave a small twirl; guess when it comes down to it I really was a girl

"Well come on Leah let's get that makeup fixed for you. Where's your bathroom?" I pointed it out and watched the two go up stairs.

It was so weird that our lives were so full of drama and some girls have the perfect lives. Well at least I had ended up with Seth, I felt myself blush at the thought of him. Guess my life was kind of perfect in the end, Leah's would be too when she got Jake.

They came back down Leah looking good as new; she turned to her newly found cousin. "Hey you should come to the party."

"No. People would react badly to these scars of mine I know. Don't worry I will wait for Sue here."

"Oh no this is Bella's house, here's my key, three doors down."

I pulled Emily to the side. "Why don't you seem upset about Harry?"

"I am but for so many years I have been Leah's emotional safety net. Go on have fun with your friends Bella I'll be Ok." She was so good at hiding her emotions that even looking in her eyes I couldn't tell what she was really feeling.

* * *

eh can't be bothered to write anything here


	19. Chapter 19

Part 19: Finally something normal: Seth

I shivered in the cold wind as I stood outside the hall where Bella's party would soon be starting. I was waiting for the girls to arrive while the other guests mingled inside.

"Hey there!" I jumped and spun around to see a brown haired girl staring at me. "What's happening here then? Big party or something? I do wonder why humans seem to want to be together, animals at least gain protection from it. We humans only gain hurt and heartache from being together. We never learn" Her voice was strong and proud but her eyes told a different story. They spoke of sadness and despair.

It was like she had given up on humanity, I couldn't let that happen. "But what about friendship and love?" Her eyes hardened at that last word.

She spat on the ground before she continued. "Letting our guard down so that someone can cut us deeper. Nothing ever works out for us; I have seen that first hand. Humans are out for themselves and that's that." She slammed her fist into her palm before grabbing my shoulders and staring wildly into my eyes.

I knocked her arms out of the way and stepped back. "What the hell? I care for Bella far more than anyone; even myself!" I was yelling now and glanced at the doorway; if anyone had heard me then they had ignored it.

"That's what so many people say these days but it's wrong." Her voice had lost all its strength and was now little more than a whisper. Her whole body sagged and she looked down at the floor. I reached out the rest a hand on her shoulder but she stumbled back stopping a couple of meters away.

After a few silent moments she looked up a huge smile on her face. "Well not that it's any of your business, right." She laughed.

**Thank you Seth**

The voice again! "What's going on?"

The girl rammed the heel of her hand against her temple and spoke. "Ugh Yggdrasil would you shut up! What if our boss finds out?" She was talking to the voice, maybe she knew where it came from.

**He isn't going to Loki and Ran are making sure of that Remember Loki has a wish and I for one want it to come true**

I ran forwards and grabbed for her but she jumped out of my grasp. "What is going on here? What is this voice in my head?"

But she was already halfway up the road. "Sorry kid got to go now!"

"Kid? You can't be a year older than me!" my yell echoed in the empty street and faded as she vanished into the darkness.

"Who are you yelling at Seth?" I whipped round to see Bella and Leah stood there.

My jaw almost hit the ground to see her so beautiful. "Some girl just ran off."

Leah snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Yo slobber chops, is Jacob here yet?"

"Yeah over... Somewhere." I mumbled waving my arm in the direction of the party; at least I think it was that direction. I was rather disorientated at that point in time.

She patted my cheek and left one last taunt before heading off to find him. "Well try not to ogle too much."

By the time to open presents I was getting a hold of myself and thinking a lot clearer. Leah and Jacob had spent a lot of time out of the room but now we were all surrounding the table they were piled on. Bella had unwrapped everything except mine Jacob and Leah's presents.

"Ok Leah first then." She pulled the shiny paper away to find a CD of the Suite bergamasque by Claude Debussy, Bella's favourite composer. "Thanks Leah!"

"Welcome. Wasn't exactly hard to find something for you." She smirked at me and I fidgeted uncomfortably. That was a low blow.

Next up is Jacob's gift. The small box opened to reveal a small charm bracelet with a little wolf dangling from it. "Ah Jakey I love it!" Soon the boy in question was enveloped in a bear hug, I saw my sisters eyes twitch slightly. She wouldn't show any signs of affection towards Jake but seems like she had a little bit of a jealousy issue.

After she had put the bracelet on she turned to my present. The angle I was at I couldn't see her unwrap it but she whipped right round, the sandy coloured wolf teddy cradled in her arms. "So cute, what made you decide to get this?"

"Well I have seen you asleep several times and you always look so lonely and vulnerable so I thought you could have a friend to look after you."

"And that's why I love you Seth." She kissed me momentarily before continuing. "Think I will call him... Raynardine!"

When the party was over, the two of us got into her truck. "Hey how about some music for the drive home?"

"Seth you know I don't have a..." She ground to a halt as she noticed the radio in the dash. "How did you do that?"

"I had some help from a friend."

* * *

lot of refs to the real story in the presents. The name of the wolf toy comes from the web comic gunnerkrigg court.

Freya is mysterious again and again all will be explained in later stories (see my profile for more info.) Loki and Ran are also from Norse mythology. It should be obvious but if not then Yggsdrasil is inside Freya's mind.

I didn't actually realise that not many people would be reading this and watch Dollhouse so on the subject of Emily last chapter: She was a 'doll' in the English dollhouse which means that she had her mind wiped and was capable of having any personality put in her and hired out and after five years would get her old mind back and then get a huge pay out. She was gone for five years but some time she was kidnapped (more on that in a later story) and abandoned in China with her scars and old self back. The dollhouse would have fiddled with her mind to stop her saying exactly where she was hence her hesitation on the explination.


	20. Chapter 20

Part 20: My happy ending: Leah

After I had left Seth and Bella and stepped inside the hall that the party was taking place in I looked around for Jacob. He was nowhere to be seen but the place was crowded with people I could hardly penetrate the mass of mingling bodies. I knew all of them by sight but Bella could probably tell me all their life stories and family trees.

I grabbed the arm of the nearest person and turned them to face me. "You seen Jacob? Wait I know you, you sit at the back of my class, Elisabeth or something like that."

She slapped my arm away and rolled her eyes. "Evangeline, jerkass." The look she gave me was stone cold and more than a bit scary. It was odd but I was sure I had seen it before but I couldn't place it, it was so distinct and individual but it was familiar somehow.

She tried to leave but I spun her back around. "Ratchet it a back a few notches, it's not like you stand out or anything, you just sit at the back and play with toys all the time." It was true, it varied what she played with but they were all ways human shaped. Evan at this party she had a small puppet in her pocket, the control bar hanging out down to her knee.

"Better than you, little miss angry. Your bad attitude makes sure every one notices you." I think I had worked out what was so familiar; she was me from back in Sunnydale, I hoped I was a better person now. I would have to ask someone but who? Family wouldn't answer truthfully so mum, Seth and Emily were out. Jacob is far too biased and didn't even know me back then. Maybe I could get in contact with one of Emily's friends, perhaps that Kaylee girl she was all ways hanging around with.

It was then that a voice grabbed my attention. "Now, now no cat fights unless you call me over so I can watch. Hey girl that top is... I got nothing." I turned to look at Jacob and gave a small half smile.

"Yeah Bella picked it." We turned back and the girl was gone. "Creepy." We weren't in particularly crowded area of the hall so it wasn't like she had disappeared into them.

Jacob was completely wigged by it as well "Like vampires in films and books." Of all the classic monsters he couldn't stand vampires, he loved werewolves though.

"And Batman, he did it to. Where were you?" At least the amazing disappearing girl had helped me somehow.

He waved at the front of the hall. "Oh Seth needed something done, tell you later."

"Jake I've been thinking and we need to talk, come with me." I pulled him by his wrist out the back of the hall into the garden and kept going till we were under the willow tree at the end.

We were silent for a while before Jake broke the silence. "So what's up?"

I gulped and then took a deep breath before I started my spiel. "Well I was talking with my cousin earlier and I haven't seen her for like 5 years and she always had this knack at hiding what she felt so that others could feel fully. She could shut down her emotions so that she could comfort someone and support them. When dad died she wasn't there so I started repressing my feelings and it wasn't healthy. Maybe if I had made some different choices then Sam wouldn't have..." I couldn't bring myself to finish.

I felt Jake's arms on my shoulders and almost blushed. "You made some mistakes but so did I, so did Sam. I can forgive others mistakes because that's what humans do, make mistakes, and if I know anything it's that we are nothing if not human. The one person's mistakes you must forgive are your own."

"Y-yeah I guess s-so." Then I giggled.

The look of confusion on his face was adorable. "What's so funny?"

"If we do... If we do this then, well you're meant to be my 'older brother' so wouldn't it be weird?" It was a few seconds before we both burst into roaring laughter, leaning against each other for support. The world might as well have consisted of the two of us and the tree.

"Well well, we haven't spoken about that since, well ever." He was right, once we left the room that first day we had pretty much forgotten about everything that happened inside. "Guess we have miles to go before this is perfect."

"Yeah I know but, you know what forget it. Hey I was thinking about taking a trip back to Sunnydale sometime soon and wondered if you wanted to come with?" Kaylee had to judge the change somehow didn't she? God this was turning into an obsession and I don't know why. What was so important about someone's opinion? I knew I had changed for the better didn't I?

"What meet your old friends? Sounds good." It was hard not to laugh, friends weren't my thing, they still weren't really but that was neither here nor there.

"Well not really friends but same difference. There's one guy, Oz, you would like him, he's your kind of guy." He was Kaylee and Emily's best friend but then Jake was friends with that Sam guy so what do I know?

"You going to set us up on a date or something?" This made us laugh again.

"No way. You are all mine and there is nothing you can do about it." Then we kissed, it was the first time and it was powerful. The world ended and restarted a million times over in those brief seconds. It was the perfect ending.

* * *

If I already mentioned were the Clearwaters lived before Forks then it is a mistake they come from Sunnydale.

For those who don't know Evangeline is from Negima, Kaylee is from firefly, Oz and Sunnydale are from Buffy.

Eva doing that vampire gone when you look back thing makes sense considering in Negima she is a vampire but not here since there are no vampires. The toy thing is because her specialty is manipulating things and uses Chachazero a puppet. Leah suggesting that Jake and Oz would get along plays off the fact that they are both werewolves in the source material.

Well this is the end, this tale is told but the story is not over. Next up is the sort of sequel; it is set in the same universe and links to this fic a few times. I also have a short story planed that is a prequel and set in Sunnydale that will focus on Emily, Kaylee and Oz with Leah as a minor character. See my profile for more details on both.


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